GOOD QUOTES

§ Markets will touch the 20,000 mark by Dec 2008….... (But only if) Sensex, Nikkei, Dow Jones and Hang Seng are put together.
§ All sports stadiums in USA currently named after banks, insurance companies, or financial institutions will be renamed "Federal Reserve Park."
§ Respected Sensex Sir passed away on October 10, 2008 after not keeping well for nine months. The last rituals would be conducted at Lehman Brothers' place.
§ Black Mondays used to be a once-in-a-lifetime event. Now they are coming along more regularly than Mumbai local trains
§ How many stockbrokers does it take to change a light bulb? Two -- One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
§ Raj Thackeray is ready to allow non-Mumbaikars to stay in the city, but it would be mandatory for them to invest in the stock market.
§ There used to be bulls and bears in the market, now every one is a plain old ass.
§ Years ago people who sacrificed their sleep, family, food, and joy were called saints..............AND 2DAY THEY R CALLED SHARE HOLDERS
§ "Get my broker, Miss Jones." "Yes sir. Stock or Pawn?"
§ "The market may be bad, but I slept like a baby last night. I woke up every hour and cried"
§ What's the difference between a pigeon and a stockbroker? A: The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Maruti.
§ Iceland is being auctioned on eBay at a starting price of 99 pence. Initial reports say there are no takers.
§ P/E ratio: The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
§ How do you get a stock investor down from a tree? A: Cut the rope.
§ ARJUN SINGH: The HRD Ministry is proposing a 27 per cent reservation on the 30-share index for penny stocks, since they may be considered backward. The current 'correction' is nothing but a manifestation of years of neglect of such shares.
§ BEAR MARKET -- A 6-to-18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
And finally:
§ The Patels invited their new neighbors, the Raos over to dinner. During dinner Mr Rao asked Mr Patel what he did for a living. " Daddy is a fisherman!". To which Mrs Patel replied" Sohan why do say that? Your daddy is a stock broker not a fisherman." "No Mom. Everytime we visit dad at work and he hangs up the phone he laughs, rubs his hands together and says I just caught another fish."